Poetry

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familiar gaze

Posted by September 7, 2025

FAMILIAR GAZE

That familiar gaze

Under the summer haze

Sending me into a daze…

What more can I say?

 

That familiar gaze

With that stupid face

And that silly grin

All my life, where have you been?

 

That familiar gaze

I’ve seen it before

Day by day

But now we’re offshore

 

That familiar gaze

But you looked away

As the sun fades

And the season changed

 

That familiar gaze

Slipping thin from memory

Your stupid face decayed

No longer a reverie

 

That unfamiliar gaze

Turned bitter like that peach we tasted

And my peach-stained hands still tainted

With the image of us left in the patches of that pinkish tint

 

Published in Matcha Spill Magazine for their Mini Issue: SALTWATER SOLSTICE

 

Stupid fun fact: this poem was inspired by a fanfiction I wrote in High School. (The fanfiction was about Will Graham if you’re curious. No. I won’t be showing it.) It has the same title and same “vibe”, the difference is that said “vibe” in the ending of this poem is depressing and non-existent in the fanfiction. You can imagine the first two stanzas as the premise of fanfiction, and the rest of the stanza is where I develop it into the finished product of the poem in 10 minutes before submitting to the magazine and going to bed. As usual, I worked on this last minute before submitting because I had no idea what to do with the theme. They actually provided prompts, which I incorporated at the end (peach-stained hands), but at that time, I didn’t have anything on my brain to work with.

My writer’s block self decided to scroll down my Google Docs until, out of nowhere, I remembered writing a fanfiction in High School that could potentially work as a poem. That’s how “familiar gaze” was born (the poem, not the fanfiction).

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Caramel Eyes

Posted by September 5, 2025

Remember Netra Karamel? This is the English translated version! I decided to write a translated one since there is a magazine opening submissions for poems in your mother language, along with attaching the translated piece. So here’s Caramel Eyes!

 

CARAMEL EYES

Your eyes allure me

Under the horizon, I freeze

Although warm dusk glazes our silhouettes like honey

 

I keep observing you from afar

Your caramel-scented eyes unwavered

Yet trapped as an anchor at the end of a desolate sea, it dies

 

A small twinkle undiscovered

While scratches of the days gone by mark your caramel-scented eyes

 

You might notice the difference in formatting, this is simply because it works better for the English version to get a sense of where the poem is going!

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WHERE DO WE GO?

Posted by September 4, 2025

There’s nothing much to say. The government is fucked, so we’re all fucked. This is what I would like to scream to the world…

 

WHERE DO WE GO?

Where do we go when red paints the street?

Where people rave and yell, throwing their spirits up high,

Where the ones above fold their ears shut and bite their tongue blind,

Where fire and smoke have become our air to breathe and survive.

 

Where do we go when friends turn foes?

Where their steps rumble the ground,

Where their dull blades press against our lungs,

Where their empty words bleed our soul dry.

 

Where do we go when they destroy our home?

Where in the name of “defense” they fight against their own,

Where they walk the opposite direction from our prayers,

Where they wear their uniforms to prove their “worth”.

 

Where do we go when there’s nowhere to go?

Where our home becomes barely a barren wasteland,

Where our people limp in search of belonging,

Where we are detested and rejected from their embrace.

 

Where do we go when they don’t listen?

Where do we go when they clink their drinks to our cries?

Where do we go when they give their shits for us to eat?

Where do we go? What do we do?

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Hembusan Angin Berbicara

Posted by August 22, 2025

Look, I’m proud of the imagery I’m presenting and the tone that speaks out… But I’ll say that it’s a tad bit dramatic. Of course, I wrote this in high school (as always), so you can see where the dramatization comes from (because I barely knew shit about poems that day. Well, not like I’m suddenly an expert now, anyway). Come to think of it, I could’ve done more with the first stanza because it seemed too… General and simple. Also, the feature of red string is here too!

 

Hembusan Angin Berbicara

Hembusan angin mengirim pesan untukmu

Ia terbang menghampirimu

Berlomba di antara para burung

Berdansa ria mendekatimu

Datanglah ia hendak menerpa wajahmu

 

Tetapi kamu hantu

Hembusan angin tembus melaluimu

Walaupun kamu mencoba mencari keberadaanku

 

Karena aku hanya semilir hembusan angin…

Terbang mengejar waktu

 

Kami sering bertabrakan di antara jiwa raga lain yang sibuk

Bagaikan ada benang merah yang menyatukan

Namun apakah kamu betul kiriman dari Tuhan?

Kamu saja membuatku bingung mabuk

 

Karena aku hanya semilir hembusan angin

Bepergian kesana kemari demi melewatimu

Tetapi saying kamu tak mampu menyaksikan sosok diriku

Walaupun aku di sana, tidak tahu lagi harus bagaimana…

 

Hembusan angin berbicara.

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Benang Merah

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I don’t know why I always have this weird fascination with red strings whenever I would talk about love. Yes, the myth is famous itself, but I would find myself putting benang merah or red string into most of my “love” poems. In this case, this poem is the first to feature “red string” itself.

 

BENANG MERAH

Kapan kami bisa bertemu di tengah benang merah yang menyatukan kami jadi satu?

Atau apakah aku tersesat di ujung benang merah dari kisah kami yang menemukanku ke jalan buntu?

 

Doa yang aku siasati,

Yang lama terpendam dan tersembunyi dalam lubuk hati,

Merayap keluar dari tempatnya berdiam diri…

Tertutupi.

 

Doa itu menyebut namamu

Saking lamanya menunggu sampai dunia menuntutku untuk menyerah

Namun aku tak pernah berhenti berharap akan awal kisah kami yang berawal dari seuntai benang merah

 

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Lika Liku Luka

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I recently wrote this a few months ago because of the fun alliteration, but to say I was proud of the finished product? Not really. I put too many expressions without adding images and visuals, which results in a weak tone, despite the strong adjectives I use in this so-called “poem”. Here goes.

 

Lika-liku luka

Lika-liku

Luka-luka

Hanyut dalam darahmu

Siapa sangka

 

Begitu langka

menyaksikan

Wajahmu yang murka

Tenggelam dalam duka

 

Teka-teki

Membuatku dengki

Hati telah mati

Kalbu terkubur dalam abu

 

Sana. Pergi

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Netra Karamel

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Wrote this in high school. I asked my friend to give me 5 random words for me to work into a poem, because I had a bit of writer’s block that week. Safe to say I was kinda proud of it. It’s no revolutionary poem, for sure, it’s not even Sapardi Djoko Damono’s level, even though I strive to be there. At the end of the day, it’s a fun poem to write.

 

NETRA KARAMEL

Matamu memikatku

Di bawah cakrawala aku membeku

Meskipun senja hangat membalur kedua siluet kami bagai madu

 

Kupandang terus engkau dari jauh

Sepasang netramu yang berbau karamel tak kunjung riuh

Justru jatuh terjebak bagai sauh di ujung laut

Bahkan sebuah binar pun tak tertemu

Hanya goresan masa lalu yang tampak dalam sepasang netra karamelmu itu

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SPARKED

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I truly had high hopes for this. This poem was meant to be longer and “deeper”, but my brain just couldn’t produce more content. I want this to be a journey of a girl discovering fire that eventually backfires. Initially, I wanted this to be a short story too. The way I remembered it, I had the line of “It burned the grass and the leaves, then reached my heart as it flamed,” to be the ending, but I didn’t give it enough time to produce it. Yes, I was running out of time because I’m submitting this for a magazine. Got rejected as always, and I’m okay with that, but the issue I regret most is that I should’ve worked on this more and put more thought into it.

 

SPARKED

 

… Fire …

Dancing in air

Illuminates the sky

With that spark of flair

You light me up high

 

… Blaze …

Taking up space

Too great to conquer

Should I be grateful-

For a forest to brace this much grace?

 

… Inferno …

It sparked out. And my name, it claimed

It burned the grass and the leaves,

Then reached my heart as it flamed.

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DEVOTED DEVOTEE

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Yes, this is the developed version of a “recycled” poem. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read the “backstory” behind Belladonna Lips.

 

DEVOTED DEVOTEE

your eyes

i caught them smiling

and your lips

invited me to silence

your fingers

tracing the strings of my heart

you’re upon me

 

i’m walking

and walking

and walking

my steps

taking me into the abyss

treading in blind

with you leading 

on my wrists, a bind

 

you see

the presence of a devotee

now lost in reverie

locked free

 

i’m chained tight

forever trapped in midnight

wailing prayers with all its might

blinded by moonlight

and numbed from frights

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EAT PART OF ME

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Cannibalism as a metaphor for love never bored me. But with this particular poem, cannibalism is more of a concept, because… You can’t eat a soul, right?

The reason I post this as an image is that I can’t format it the way that I want in this WordPress blog. I can’t tab. But why does the formatting matter so much, anyway?

You go down the steps, falling down, tumbling down, following the voice… That’s the premise of this poem.

I submitted this for a Literary Magazine, but they rejected it. I was a bit salty at first because their theme aligns perfectly with what this poem is, at least that’s what I thought, but I managed to keep my peace of mind. I will be waiting until a Literary Magazine opens submissions with the perfect theme that suits this poem.

Enjoy the bullshit below.

 

EAT PART OF ME

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