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  • Posts Tagged ‘Dirty Little Secret’

    Short story: Is It the Right Time?

    2015 - 03.09

    I guessed everyone will have a dirty secret on their life. Trying to hide it, whatever it took. However, did you know there is anything that you can hide in this world? Just like aphorism said “sooner or later your secret will come up to the ground.” Well, I have some secret that I will hide of. Trying to tell the truth was not as easy as you turned your hand, but I was sure every secret have a right time to come up. It was like my secret.

    AFTER A LONG TIME, I finally could meet him. He is The Guy that could make my heart beat fast and it hurt. I could hear his voice. He was calling my name. Even, I couldn’t see if it was him who called my name. But, I was sure that it was him, there is no way I could forget his voice. My mother opened the door and asked him to come in. I was in my room. I was freeze and waited for him.
    My heart was beating so fast. Suddenly, he was standing in front of my door. At that time, I was lying on bed. Thanks God my room already cleaned up this morning. The bad news was there were many pieces of paper on the floor and the bed. He looked at me and smiled.
    He asked “did you just wake up?” I couldn’t say anything.
    I was sure that I was look like people who just woke up. He was still standing in front of my door. Honestly, it some kind of funny to see how much my heart beat fast just because I looked at him. He was wearing grey t-shirt with blue jeans jacket and black jeans. There were some oil stains in his clothes. God, he is still careless with his clothes.
    “Well, I guess you were wearing the clothes that you wore on your practice study. Didn’t have time to change, huh?” He just smiled. “I think so. Sorry, I guess I disturbed your sleep time.” He still thinks that I was sleeping before he arrives, he doesn’t change; always keep asking if you don’t answer him.
    “I’m not sleeping just trying to get some rest for my brain. As you see, I have so much homework.” I was pointing at the papers that scattered on the floor.
    “Always become the diligent.”
    “How long you will stand there?”
    “Is it okay if I come in?” I nodded. I sat on the floor and told him to come in. He sat next to me and took something from his pocket. He gave me a flash disk. I turned on my laptop and tried to focus on it but, it took time to on. He was quiet and so did I. For some time, both of us didn’t say anything. Then, he moved. He tried to reach for something that is beside me. His hand was passing me by when he took it. I looked at him and saw what he was holding. He read my paper; he wrinkled his eyebrows and his lips. It is always interesting when he became like that, thinking hard made his face looks ridiculous but somehow it’s cute. Stupid! Stop think like a fool. I have to focus on the screen. I didn’t have to make my heart beat faster.
    “Hmm, I can’t understand this. What is this?” he waved the paper at me.
    “That is my homework. A short story that tells about my experience but, it isn’t finish yet. I’m stuck.”
    He put the paper back. “You will finish that. Even, I don’t understand your homework, I’m sure that your short story will be good. You are good at it.”
    I shrugged. I searched some movie that he wanted to. I opened some files and folders movie. Finally, I could focus on something besides focus on him. I connected the flash disk with my laptop and asked him to search by himself the movies that he wanted to. He started to search and because of that he became closer. I hope he couldn’t hear how fast my heart beats. He copied the movies from my laptop to his flash disk.
    I looked at him closely and my mind became ramble. Should I tell him the truth? The truth about what happened between us. I have lied to him and to everyone. Yes, I should tell him the truth. I hoped we wouldn’t turn into something bad.
    Moving 20 items (2.GB) from films Data (D:) to removable disk (F:) about thirty minutes remaining.
    I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Can I tell you something? I have to tell you this before I change my mind.” He looked at me. He wrinkled his eyebrows again. He nodded.
    I cleared my throat. Thinking what I have to say first. “Well, first I want to apologies.” I stopped, glanced at him. Nothing happened. He didn’t say anything. I decided to continue without looking at him.
    “I have lied to you. Everything that happened between us was a lie. Did you remember when I gave you a letter? The letter that told you about the reason why I want to broke up. I said I want to break up because a test, right? Well, it was a lie. That crap was my false reason so that I didn’t feel too guilty to you. Actually, the reason was because I like somebody else. Even, when we started to have a relationship I wasn’t sure if it was a right choice for us. I already liked somebody else. I have been trying to remove my feelings but it didn’t work. I could forget him for a while and a day after that I remember again. I learned. I really learned to love you without have someone else in my heart. Then, it always ends with me comparing you guys. How about my heart when I was with him or when I was with you. I didn’t really know the different but I knew one thing, that I did like him.
    Our relationship became a joke for me. I knew that I have been played you so I decided to break up. I was sad. You were the only guy that teaches me about caring and loving somebody. Although sometimes you became a childish and egoist person, I still want we have a good relationship as a friend. So I created a reason in order to not hate me and hate him. I was scared that you will hate him. He doesn’t know anything about my feelings. Although we have been spend time together, we never more than friend. Even if I want, I would never consider cheating behind your back.
    Suddenly, he took a long exhale “Is he a guy that I know?”
    “Well, I guess even if I don’t tell you, I know you knew who he is, do you?” I glanced at him and saw his hands became pale because he was grasping it too hard. He didn’t answer my question. His eyes were on the screen.
    “I don’t know what I have to say. I just could say that I’m sorry.” He was quiet. “Well, say something.”
    He giggled. “What I have to say? Maybe deep down of my heart I have known that you like him. The way you saw him, laugh with him, talked with him. I just pretended no to know, because I realized that you would leave anytime you want if I told you what I know. I don’t want it. Even, you have a heart for him I know I have to endure it so that I could be with you.”
    He knew. All that time, he knew. I was too naïve if I was thinking he wouldn’t know about it. Stupid! Just because I didn’t want to feel guilty I lied to him that clearly knew about all of it.
    “But, there were many guys in our school. Why it have to be him?” He asked me.
    “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I don’t know why it has to be him. I knew the fact that he is your best friend will more hurt you than anything else. I know if I’ve had outrageous, but can I ask one thing?”
    I hesitate. “Can you forgive me and still be my friend?”
    He smiled. “Just because you liked somebody else, it doesn’t mean I have to hate you forever. It was not your fault. You can love somebody else because I can make you only see me. So, it was my fault too. Of course we always can be friend.”
    “Thanks.” We both smiled.
    Moving 20 items (2.GB) from films Data (D:) to removable disk (F:) about thirty seconds remaining.
    Moving 20 items (2.GB) from films Data (D:) to removable disk (F:) about fifteen seconds remaining.
    Moving 20 items (2.GB) from films Data (D:) to removable disk (F:) about five seconds remaining.
    “Well. Thanks for the movies. I hope you’re not mind if I ask for more movies next time.”
    “Hey, did you hear me?” He touched my hand. “Well, I guess your hobby wasn’t change at all, always become a dreamy one.” I shake my head over and over. “Huh. Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say?”
    He laughed. “I said thanks for the movies. I hope you’re not mind if I ask for more movies next time.”
    “Sure. You can ask anytime.”
    “Nice. Well, then see you next time.”
    I smiled. Well, maybe it was not the right time for telling the truth.